I ran across this post, Some Thoughts on Motherhood, on the Wine-Dark Sea blog, as I followed the Darwins' request for prayers on behalf of Melanie Bettanelli, who faces cancer in the aftermath of a miscarriage. The post fits with an overall theme of mine--the vocation of motherhood, on which I hope one day to have non-reactionary observations to post! It also puts a number of things into perspective, particularly as it deals with the grief of losing a child, which is perhaps something most (?) expectant mothers fear on some level, myself included. I can't summarize my reactions, though the words "shame" and "sympathy" come to mind, and perhaps "humility"--my recognition of another person's humility and the experience of being humbled by another's experience.
I appreciated another post on Wine-Dark Sea titled Lent on God's Terms, which is also relevant to how I've been feeling this Lenten season (she thinks, realizing she has just eaten a Lenten candy bar). It is a feeling many I know have shared; it's as if somehow we were not, collectively, ready for Lent--at least several of the Catholics I have read, spoken to, or emailed. In my case, I have not felt particularly spiritual since well before my Toddler and the Mass post. Perhaps these posts will lead me to a new era of maternal spirituality. Certainly, I have a new incentive to pray.
2 comments:
I've been praying for you ever since I read your post on pregnancy and anxiety. I am so glad my words were able to help you.
I struggled with the decision to write honestly about what I'm going through right now, it seems both risky foolish to pour out my heart to a bunch of strangers. But something (gee, you think it just might be the Holy Spirit?) kept prompting me to hit "post" and I'm glad I did because I have received more than one indicator that my words have helped other people.
I'm realizing that my ability to write is a gift and that I'm supposed to use it in service to others. My blog is not just navel gazing or wallowing in my own misery, it is the way I can reach out and help other people. Being able to see that some good is able to come out my trials makes it much easier to forge on.
Thank you very much for your prayers.
Thank you for writing, Melanie. My thoughts and prayers have definitely been with you, and I wanted to tell you that yes, blogging can be witness and can be beneficial to others. Not all blogs, so I see why some people might be skeptical, but yours is so thoughtful. It was definitely something I needed to read right at that time. Thank you for clicking "post."
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