Recently, I ordered the set of Little House books from the Scholastic Book Club. I decided that having a daughter and finding them at a reasonable price were sufficient reasons to buy the series I read as a young child, then as an older child, and as a teen--the only set I read nearly as often as The Chronicles of Narnia, though the two series are worlds apart (no pun intended) in genre. Looking desperately for something to read yesterday that was relaxing and not too challenging, and rejecting, for the moment, A Canticle for Leibowitz, which I recently bought from the Second Chance Book Adoption (thanks, Chris!), as being too post-apocalyptic, and therefore potentially too thought-provoking, I remembered the Little House books, unwrapped, but still untouched. So last night, I selected These Happy Golden Years, the book in which Laura is courted by and marries Almanzo, and in which she teaches school for the first time.
Predictably, the novel was thought provoking. After all of these years, I had forgotten few events, but some of the descriptions of the events stood out for me anew. After spending her first full week at home after a dismal experience boarding with the head of the school board and his wife during her first teaching job, Laura reflects on the contrast between her own home and the Brewsters':
But best of all were the mornings and the evenings at home. Laura realized that she had never appreciated them until now. There were no sullen silences, no smoldering quarrels, no ugly outbursts of anger.
It was with a shock that I realized that this was precisely the difference between the home my husband and I have made, and the one in which I grew up. These sentences may mean nothing to my children when they read them, or else they will sympathize with Laura without knowing exactly what she has experienced. To me, they summarized a contrast I have felt within my own life, and for which I am grateful. My mother has not yet escaped that past, and I fear that there is little I can do to help her. Similarly, in Little Town on the Prairie, the "ordinary" (stereotypically Irish, perhaps) quarreling of the Clancys, by whom Laura is employed as a seamstress, disturbs her because the behavior is so foreign to her: Laura was so upset that she could not eat, she wanted only to get away.
A meditation followed:
So much of children's literature these days is intended as self-help, of the pop-psychology variety, intended to make children recognize, and perhaps wallow in, the short-comings of the world around them. Rather than displaying personal strength and the ability to meet challenges, they portray children who "need help" in order that the "actual" child reader will know what it means to "need help." I welcome an assessment of this by someone with experience helping troubled children professionally; I venture to assert that having similar experiences in which to wallow would compound rather than alleviate one's own problems, and that stories that show magical solutions to real world problems are still more damaging. I did not need a story to tell me that my family was dysfunctional, and I did not need a story to validate that being dysfunctional was O.K.--it was not O.K., and acknowledging that may have given me the ability to change my own life accordingly. Though I never thought of the stories in this way, the Little House Books, by holding up an ideal, may have allowed me an escape from our family situation, and shown me what could be possible through mutual respect between husband and wife, parent and child.
A further context for this meditation is my son's recent experience of reading the award-winning, but to my mind wholly unsuitable Each Little Bird That Sings, which centers on the life of a family of undertakers, children who are confronted with the death of strangers and who must, in the course of the book, confront the deaths of two elderly relatives and a beloved dog. The baby, probably not much older than my daughter, sings about people being dead to the tune of nursery rhymes. I'm sure this is all very "helpful" to children's psyches. However, my 10-year-old was soberly meditating on the fear of death after reading this wonderful piece of children's literature. At his Catholic school, he should be taught more about the meaning of death in the context of eternity than in the context of worldly fears. In the Little House Books, he would be learning about the challenges of life, and how they contribute to its wonder and joy. I may be naïve in preferring the latter to the former; nevertheless, I feel that it holds more value to the human person.
The Little House Books also offer useful lessons in generosity, albeit towards one's family only. I have a difficult time understanding where taking care of one's own (extended) family fits with Catholic ideals of generosity and charitable giving. Is giving to one's family being charitable? Some would say not. If caring for one's family precludes one's ability to give generously to strangers, does it fulfill one's obligations for charity? I am not well acquainted with Catholic social teaching, so I do not have the answers.
My brother has expressed his resentment--in words and actions--that he has had to share in the financial responsibility of the household. Admittedly, he is 18, the 5th of 6 children, but his venom is great, and does not fit with how we lived when I was part of the household and he was young--he was only 7 when I married. Without elaborating on the situation, my mother's unstable financial state has been further weakened by health concerns. In this college town, my brother has been exposed to a world in which undergraduates drive Lexus and BMW and Mercedes; more moderate incomes drive Mustangs. To not have a car to oneself at 18 is the exception rather than the rule. Talk is cheap, and money is cheaper. He has been well poisoned, who used to be generous.
In the Little House Books, Laura willingly and gratefully takes on jobs that she hates--that intimidate her, expose her to danger and unpleasantness, jobs that keep her in town from dawn until dusk, though only for short periods of weeks at a time--in order to contribute to her family's efforts to send her sister to the college for the blind in Iowa. She feels a deep sense of contentment, upon leaving to be married, at having contributed to her family, and feels able to leave and feel satisfied at having material things of her own because she has been able to give of herself to her family. In contemporary children's (or young adult) literature, would generosity or selfishness prevail? Which do we need more in today's world?
6 comments:
I think that what your brother is going through is precisely the reason why children books are like they are today. The world has changed dramatically somehow in the last 10 years. There has been an even higher demand for material possessions and wealth than there was just 10 years ago, which tends to drive many parents to want to show "wealth" to their children in the form of material possessions. After all, didn't you know that the sign of a good parent is that you can provide your child with a Lexus ;).
What this leads to is ALOT of issues with the children. I see it all the time at the hospital. So many horribly depressed kids from rich families. And people wonder why kids tend to be so screwed up these days. Many parent's tend to buy their children love these days, or if that doesn't work, they do the total opposite and just beat the child. Either way causes serious issues. Either way, the child has no outlet to deal with their anger, frustration, and abandonment.
Here's a place for writer's to make money. Authors write books that kids are going to relate to and unfortunately, since many kids have no one to turn to, they turn to their imagination in the form of a book, a perfectly healthy outlet in my opinion. But it certainly doesn't substitute for a truly caring person. They can relate to this fictional character and may feel a little better, but at the end of the day, it's still a fictional character.
The other reason these books are so popular is because society doesn't want to deal with kids issues. So you just buy your kid a book to teach them how to deal. I remember having a book mysteriously appear on my bookshelf as a child called "Where did I come from?"...easy way for the birds and bees talk. Just let a book do it.
Your totally right! This breaks down to not really helping the kid AT ALL and if anything, sending the message that mom and dad are grown-ups and still can't confront these issues.
Hope this makes some kind of sense...I'm really tired right now ;p.
I've never read the little house books, but from what I've heard and from what you've written about them, they sound great for children. It sounds like the world isn't candy coated so much in those books, and the problems are more typical. They happen in a world that we actually live in, though at a different time.
Great post!
The other reason these books are so popular is because society doesn't want to deal with kids issues. So you just buy your kid a book to teach them how to deal. I remember having a book mysteriously appear on my bookshelf as a child called "Where did I come from?"...easy way for the birds and bees talk. Just let a book do it.
Excellent point, Chris! (Thanks for taking my hint, btw!) ;)
The interesting thing about my brother is that he is the mirror image of my uncle, who became bitter & resentful after comparing his own family's income to the boys at DLS when he went there for hs--again with the cars, even! So I don't know what to think about that. It doesn't seem like just the last 10 years. I do find the situation particularly bad here. No one has what we would consider "college" cars--you know, the ones that you can tell were bought used, then driven by the parents for 10 years, then given to the kids?
After all, didn't you know that the sign of a good parent is that you can provide your child with a Lexus ;).
Oh no! I'm doomed to miserable failure as a parent! ;)
You're right. It's not all environment. Unfortunately, it's alot of genetics too, so that would make sense with him. Depression, anxiety, general mental illness, etc. can really be inescapable to some. I've seen it in my family and I see it in plenty of others. Research is showing more and more of a genetic link to mental illness, but at the same time, the nurture side is getting alot too. I don't know, my opinion is that it's generally about an even combination of genetics and environment (not necessarily the home environment, but they're surroundings and changes in life).
I was going to write a long comment on this, and then it got lost -- grr -- but I really like your point about children's books that portray family dysfunction as okay. I think that the reason most classic children's literature involves happy loving families is that children want role models. The example of a family like the Ingalls provides even a kid from an unhappy family with the pattern for what family life can be.
To be honest, I find most literature and movies about dysfunctional families to be dull. People nattering endlessly about their problems -- spare us!
Having come from a highly dysfunctional family myself, I relate with your post on a couple of levels. I'm always looking for heroes, of the "shining armor" variety, not the "own set of problems" variety. Great thoughts.
Post a Comment