Friday, August 28, 2009

Is Composition Student-Centered?

When I started college, there were a number of things I would have liked to write about--literature, history, language, culture--specific literature, languages, cultures. . . As it turns out, the university I attended had a few Great-Books-y dinosaurs on the faculty, and the Honors program coupled a course on the Literature and Thought of Ancient Greece (team taught by rotating faculty members) with writing courses appropriate to the level of the incoming students. Had you asked me to list all possible writing topics, this would have been close to the top. Though I debated in high school, raw politics (not political ideas, mind you, but "issues" and actual things people voted on) would be somewhere near the bottom, below bacteriology somewhere. In fact, I was that mixture of idealism and cynicism who didn't want her literature "polluted" by politics, in part because I had not been introduced to the idea that literary works may be considered as responses to the social and political contexts, as well as the intellectual currents, of the time period in which they were produced. (I was all over intellectual currents--which weren't the same as politics, mind you!)

So I wonder. . . If we asked the incoming Freshmen at a given college or university what topics they would prefer to write about, what answers do you think we would get? If we asked them what topics they expected to write about in first-year composition, do you think the answers would be different? And what if we said, "According to your goals for your education, what topics do you think you would like to write about in first-year composition?" What then? I suspect that some students in the first batch might answer politics--mostly those who already had some kind of cause to fight for. The problem, then, becomes that these students already have a set agenda, and they would not be writing to learn. They would be learning to write, however, which is presumably the goal of first-year composition. I'm not sure what the expectation of students entering first-year composition would be. Maybe I'll survey my own students this semester and see. If they have purchased the text, that will define their answers, surely. But if we asked the third question, the answers would not only be more varied, they would have more depth and be the product of real thought and consideration--that is, if taken seriously. And serious answers to this serious question would be more valuable to the student and to the instructor or those who designed the curriculum.

The question of "what students want" in a writing course is as difficult to answer as "what children want" from children's literature. They want to learn to write--we hope. They don't want to be bored. Not only will the answer vary from student to student, the answer, if proposed by a professor of English, is based on a generalization of students--we define what "the student" is, then we attempt to fulfill the needs of that theoretical student. Or, we start from what "the student" should be, then we design our classes according to that conception of the potential student. We generalize from what students have done in the past, and we try to shape the future students to avoid what we see as the shortcomings of those previous students. All of this is very dehumanizing. The question of "what students (or children) need" is even worse than the "want" question, since we are imposing some kind of lack, and forgetting to articulate the rest of the equation: "What do children need in order to become X" "What do students need in order to become X" and "X" remains the unknown--or the unarticulated variable.

Some colleges and universities articulate the "X." Their goal is to educate the whole student and produce well-rounded citizens. Sometimes it is even articulated further, according to the school's guiding worldview. There is still room for interpretation, but at least you can use this to guide curriculum development. The question then becomes the method by which we produce well-rounded citizens.

I have represented it in broad caricature in the past, but I think that the rationale behind the composition class "themes" that focus on political "hot button" issues is the idea that while we're teaching writing, we should be 1) keeping them from being bored by introducing controversy and 2) educating them into better/more responsible citizens by forcing them to confront votable issues. #2 is particularly relevant to college students, who will be voting for the first time. (As an aside, I was not voting age until 6 semesters into my college career, including summers--so there's that. . .) So the answer to "what they need" is "engagement with current controversies" and the answer to "what develops students into better citizens" is "ability to vote responsibly." There are other possible variations on this, and other possible answers that also involve social/political issues: they need to be taught about prejudice in order to avoid it and so be better citizens or repair the wrongs done in the past, etc. These are top-down conclusions. They do not derive from the students themselves. And that is why composition courses, or courses that address X in this manner, are considered by many outside of academia, and some within, to be indoctrination, especially in the cases when "voting responsibly" is conflated with voting according to a certain worldview. It is a fundamental disagreement on the role of college coursework in the formation of the student. Whether the student is being formed into a good citizen, a good scholar, a well-rounded human being, whatever the term of choice might be, there is plenty of room for disagreement on how to get from point A to point "X."

What about students themselves? Do they come to college to be "formed into better citizens"? I doubt that many would articulate that as a goal of education. We have moved a long way in the student-centeredness of the classroom. There are few courses in college that allow for student-centeredness in subject matter, except that there can be consideration of what knowledge within the discipline will serve "the student"--generalized, stereotyped, idealized or caricatured--best. Composition does allow for student-centeredness in subject matter, as it is very difficult to write about nothing, unless you are Edward Lear, or unless "nothingess" itself is your subject, which would make you a philosopher. Given that fact, one could either tend to the less substantial, to the "entertainment value" of the subject, though that could be made substantial if the entertaining subject were made the subject of serious academic inquiry in the context of the course, or the more substantial, focusing on what education on the college level is about. I like having students reflect on education itself, actually, as it is something that is very real to them, but that's not what I mean. What are their goals? Often, to get a job--or a better job--or whatever. That's fine. But in order to do so, they have chosen to learn, and learn in a particular direction, following their interests, or their perception of what is practical, or their parents' mandates. So we should either allow them to learn in their chosen direction from the beginning, allowing them to write about the subjects they have chosen to pursue academically, or we should bring them in our direction, showing them what our discipline has to offer and teaching them to write about aspects of language and literature. Some will argue that that's what rhetoric does, and on a higher level, I would agree. But not many first-year composition papers take rhetoric as a subject, and teaching students to employ rhetoric in writing about politics? I don't see it happening in 15 weeks. Especially when the heated nature of the topic obscures the techniques being taught, and alienates the students who did not come to college to write about politics--not to mention the instructors who feel the same.

Starting Over Again. . .

One of the things that I like about teaching is the ability to create ourselves anew each semester. This does translate into more work, but it keeps me motivated--for a while at least. By midterm, I am generally ready to move along to the next thing.

This semester is a new start for a number of reasons. Being in a new space after the recent move makes everything feel a little fresher. It's a slightly smaller space, but it feels cozy. More of the space is usable, too, which is a nice thing. We have boxes everywhere that I have no interest in unpacking, but I don't feel the same sense of clutter here. My husband would likely disagree. We have a great washer/dryer. The old one took 8+ hours to dry a batch of clothes. Seriously. In spite of having maintenance look at it every 6 months or so. Needless to say, laundry is much more pleasant. Cooking is nicer, too. It has its problems, but for now, the good things are outweighing the bad.

The girls have been watching a lot of Veggie tales lately--they call it "Pickle and Tomato," or, as Doodle would say, "Tickle and Homato." I find myself randomly singing Veggie Tales songs like the "Happy Heart" song from "Madame Blueberry" throughout the day. With that one in particular, I usually find myself singing it at the oddest moments, which makes me stop & think
and acknowledge the truth in the sentiment. Not a bad thing at all.

I set up my sewing machine much earlier than I really should have, thinking responsibly. I was sewing in the midst of the boxes & clutter, but I'm using up some of my older fabric and trying to make things for the girls for the cooler weather and for myself for the start of school. I have finally reached a level of proficiency with sewing that makes me feel comfortable wearing things that I have made. There's a lot of satisfaction there. Plus, I'm too broke right now to buy clothes to start the semester, so being able to make myself a few things is great! Admittedly, I have bought a few new pieces of fabric. And an Ottobre or two. . .

I am not really ready for the semester to start, but I will be--by Monday night! I have been working on my syllabi for weeks, but nothing ever quite gets finished. I have my first day handouts finished for my classes--two composition and one British Lit. The Brit Lit Survey (second half) gave me some anxiety, but I think I resolved it. We're doing a lot of poetry and some philosophical and political writings to give intellectual contexts. I hope the class responds well. I am rearranging comp some, too, to include more of the philosophical essay readings and less of the newspaper editorial readings. We'll see! My classes start Tuesday of next week--kind of late.

The kids are already back to school. My son is in 7th grade (wow) and I think he will be challenged this year. He already has homework, which has been in short supply the past 7 years! He is in advanced Math and English, and has some challenging pieces in orchestra. I am hopeful! Doodle started last (yesterday), which vexed her greatly. She wanted to start Monday!! She is trying to write. She discovered a week or two ago that she could write an "H." Then, she realized that "O" was a circle. So now, papers, boxes, etc. have "HOHOHO" written all over them! :) She found an old book from my son's montessori days, Words I Use When I Write, and has fun writing in that book, which has lines to allow the student to add words that s/he frequently uses but are not included in the book. I bought her a Crayola pad with letters she can trace and practice. She's pretty much in heaven. I hope they cultivate that interest at her school!! It's montessori. They should. She's not quite 4 yet, and I'm very proud.

Chiclette started on Tuesday at our local parish Child Development Center. I was pleased both by her reaction and by the staff. Her "teacher" is very nice, very matronly, caring and responsive. I watched her carry and comfort a crying toddler the first day, and I was impressed by the genuineness of her concern for him. She is older than most of the kids (it's an 18 month class, but she misses the cut off for the 2s), but that seems O.K. I was worried about her being bullied, but that seems unlikely. She communicates well, and seems to have fun and have little anxiety. I am told that she is very independent (unusually so, I wonder?). Unfortunately, after only 2 days, she has a bad runny nose and is rubbing her ears. Off we go to the doctor's today! Chiclette is also interested in potty training--at 21 months!--which is exciting. Chiclette goes Tuesday and Thursday and Doodle goes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. My sister will be watching them on Mondays until she moves in November, which is also nice.

My husband has recently been moved around in his job, meaning that he answers to a new, male, and less micromanaging boss and has more technical job duties. These are welcome changes, and he is much happier since the switch. This changes things, because he was very ready to leave his job before--now, not so much. And anticipating the job search again, I am worried about having him leave a stable, satisfying position to go who-knows-what and look for a job, or take a job he doesn't want. I have mixed feelings about my own prospects, and I really just want to stay here. I started out 10 years ago as an outsider, but now we are part of a community--our kids go to good schools, have good doctors, and we have friends who are not transient graduate students (though we have some of that type of friend, too!). I'm not looking forward to leaving this behind. I found a job recently that seemed the answer to all of my prayers--though it was 40 hours--but it required an MLS "or equivalent," and Ph.D. in a related field didn't count as the "equivalent." Very disappointing. I just pray that when the right opportunity comes, it is apparent, and the pieces will just fall into place.

Friday, August 21, 2009

FAMILIA reconsidered

So I had resolved myself, on the excellent advice of my online friends, to give FAMILIA a try. But recently, I received an email letting us know that the cost of babysitting for the program was going to be $30, raising the total cost to $80. Now, when I signed up, we were told that babysitting would be provided--as it was for the initial meeting. There was no mention of cost for babysitting, or more of us would have thought about the times more carefully, or considered other help. I've already expressed my other hang-ups about the program. Now the cost was getting prohibitive, and I *still* didn't feel good about the year one curriculum on "authentic feminism." So I emailed the coordinator and backed out. She mentioned in an email another group that was meeting to discuss the second year curriculum, "Called to Prayer," but it was at a time that didn't work.

So she called me on Wednesday, when I was at the library trying to get some work done. I asked about a Friday class, which wouldn't be taking away from my Monday/Wednesday class prep/grading time. There are classes on Friday morning, but they are the second year curriculum. That would be okay, though, because you don't have to do the years in order. I have since been told by the friend who invited me to the informational meeting that in the first year, the participants "bond," and I might feel left out. Looking closer at "Called to Prayer," it is better than "Authentic Feminism," but still simplistic. And I don't do "bonding." The person who got me involved with this whole question is sticking with Monday mornings, as she has 3 *other* friends who are in that group. I just don't have many friends locally who are practicing Catholics, so recruiting my own support group isn't an option.

So here I am, back to square one. I feel like I could use the enrichment, and while $80 should probably seem like a small investment for my faith, I'm not sure they're offering what I need, and part of me feels like there should be programs with no cost that achieve the same goals, or goals more suited to my need. This, in part, is a symptom of my being in a RICH family parish rather than a student parish. The student parish offers many enrichment opportunities at no cost to the participants. And some of them feel like they have more substance and weight rather than being a Catholic primer for Moms. There needs to be something more than teaching adults what they missed in catechism, or validating their roles as Catholic wives/mothers and husbands/fathers. But if I don't find it here, where the Church has a real vital presence, what will I find whenever/wherever we move? One of the schools that interviewed me (by phone) is in an area that boasts "more than 200" Catholics. And I thought I was in the Bible Belt here!!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Back-to-school reflections. . .

Another summer is coming to an end. It has been a summer with a number of ups and downs, and I have found myself more than once completely overwhelmed with having the three children in the house almost 24/7. Except for the week in July when Doodle was in Vacation Bible School, that is. I got quite a bit of reading done, mostly in June, battled exhaustion from heat and occasional anemia, but found online teaching to be, in general, a break from the usual routine. Especially since the materials for the course were pretty much canned. I am looking forward to teaching in the fall--making some changes to the comp course and also teaching a new course: survey of Brit Lit, though I suddenly feel like I don't really know how to teach it. I managed to take the kids swimming many times throughout the summer, and even made it to a park once or twice--no, I'm pretty sure it was just once. It has been brutally hot, and I don't do outside well. At all. But I even managed to get something like a tan (I tan easily).

As the summer winds down, though, I want to get back into the schedule I hate. I want to feel like I'm doing something out of the house, without children, to have something approaching a routine. To be fair, I have been working on this a bit anyway, with mixed success. Both girls now take naps at the same time when I'm home (on days when my sister is watching them--Tuesday and Wednesday, things tend to get a little "off"), and take them either at 1 P.M. or 2 P.M. Bedtime is much less of a struggle overall, though the timing is never really good. But I try to have them in the bedroom brushing teeth & such by 10:30. Before nap and before bed, we read a book. They have been enjoying the My First Little House books and The Berenstein Bears and the Spooky Old Tree with a hearty helping of Seuss also. On good days, I really feel like I know and enjoy my girls. But other days, I don't know who I am or what I'm doing and why I can't enjoy the family that I love a little bit more. But then, I'm my worst critic.

The questions that haunt me as I transition from the summer, which is supposed to be the time families spend together, to the fall, which is back to business as usual, is what I ever really do that's just for my children--you know, for their enjoyment alone. And the answer is, sadly, very little. I can't motivate myself to sit outside with them, and I can't kid myself that this would be different if I had a backyard. We don't go on outings or playdates, and we have never, ever been on a vacation that was just that. We have turned travel opportunities into vacations--in the old days, but never have we set aside time and money (both of which in perpetual short supply) to just do something fun together. And that didn't seem to matter before. But now it seems a symptom of growing older, or having more children to manage, and more personalities in the house to negotiate, that we need to take time out to really appreciate each other, and especially as parents, to appreciate the children, and what it means to have them around really being themselves, without having their exploration of the world cause us any angst. Because really, that's how it ends up feeling in my world of too many people and too much stuff in too small an apartment.

The fact was really driven home when my husband put in his leave request for 5 days off--to move. Wow. Vacation time--to move. A move I don't really want to make, to an equally cramped space (we're actually losing 56 sq. ft, but who's counting?--and a bath tub), with less lighting, that nevertheless costs $200/month less than we're paying now--$300 less than what it would cost us to renew our current lease. That time off is so precious, and it is spent doing something laborious that we don't really want to be doing anyway. The girls are getting to ages where it would be possible to take them places and have them enjoy the experience. I'd really like to take them to Disney World. And my son is not quite at the age where his angst shadows everything--maybe he won't get to that stage at all. He might still enjoy that campiness. It's a pipe dream, at least until the season of interviews and campus visits is over. And that extra $200/month? Yeah, goes to mother's day out for my youngest. It seems that I have avoided it too long already, according to professional standards of productivity, and even having Doodle in school 2 half and 2 full days, and Chiclette in two full days (full day = 2:30, 3 for Doodle) will not give me the time I need to accomplish the things I need to accomplish. But it will help. And maybe I will feel more sane, and more appreciative of the children. Or I might feel more stressed and take it out on the family all the more. Who can say? But maybe I can revisit this post and strive for the former.

'Cause I've got to say--my babies are wonderful, and brilliant, and amazing. And I've got to do something--everything, really--for them. Including getting this job. You know I wouldn't have finished the Ph.D. if I didn't think it would help me make a better life for us all, right? Truly. However unlikely that seems now.