So Much to Do. . .

. . .And so little time!

Blogging is likely to be limited in August. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed knowing that the baby is coming in 13--that is, THIRTEEN--weeks, that the fall semester starts on August 27th--only 3 weeks away--that my son starts school on the same day the semester starts, that once the semester actually starts, I will have NO TIME AT ALL for baby preparations.

Monday I start childbirth classes. There are many worries associated with that. I have wanted a natural childbirth both times so far, adn both times I was optimistic. Unfortunately, both times I have had my water break (or leak) with no contractions, and had to have pitocin, which effectively eliminates the "natural" part. It is my opinion that to have pitocin (at least at the levels at which it was administered to me) necessitates the epidural. So my fear is, what if my contractions come naturally and they are just as bad as the pitocin and I've been fooling myself that the reason I couldn't handle the pain was because of the pitocin? There are plenty of reasons to think that the assumption that the reason I couldn't handle the pain was because of the pitocin is correct, but in the wise words of the nurse midwife (whom I decided not to continue to see for appointments), "Labor hurts." Gee, thanks. I thought all of that pain management stuff was just for fun. And after all, I've never done this before. But she felt the need to tell me that her labors were CERTAINLY as bad as a labor with pitocin. That's what you get from a midwife who is former military.

I've been trying to get a lot of things done that I "saved" for after the move and the summer semester. I made myself a baby sling (the type with rings). Yesterday, I finished a nursing top that was modified from a regular McCalls pattern--not sure how it will work; I may still need to adjust some things. I am working on a combination purse/diaper bag to coordinate with the sling, but the pattern is disappointing and I have to modify it to make it what I really want it to be. And there are more projects I would like to complete before the semester starts: a nursing "twinset," two nursing dresses, a dress for my toddler to coordinate with the twinset, a play quilt for the new baby, a maternity top I started ages ago but couldn't finish because I didn't have enough fabric (misleading directions). Sewing--especially modifying projects--takes a lot of mental effort. And when I get started on a project I'm excited about, it pretty much consumes me. Even when I'm not actually working on the project, it preys on my mind--thinking about the pattern directions, wondering the best way to accomplish any modifications I have in mind. . . It can really be absorbing!

Then, there are the other things I need to do: I need to register my son for school, procure a cello for him for the fall, figure out why financial aid hasn't posted my loan, finalize my syllabus, set up my course site on Moodle (once the darned administrator sets up the course for me) and oh yeah! finish a chapter on D. H. Lawrence. Whoopee!! Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I'm drinking more and more caffeine every day. At some moment--sometimes multiple moments--every day, I have to face this choice: drink caffeine to try to stay awake & get things done, or nap. Sometimes the nap wins, but not often.

Best not to think about it too much, though. The hormones kick in, and it's downhill from there! The dissertation is going O.K. these days. Steady. Not really satisfying work, but it seems that that's what "middles" look like--the inspiring part is over, and you just need to continue to plod through & make your case. I find plodding rather difficult. Oh well!

I guess we'll call this early nesting. I know I won't have time for it later, but such is life!