A New Chapter: Adjuncting

After a recent academic job search disappointment, I wrote my last post--a letter to potential committees--and removed my half-baked attempt to synthesize my past life as an academic and my present life as an 8-to-5-er from the blog.  I don't know if I envisioned a fresh start or not, but here I am....

And it really is a fresh start.  It is a new year, and I have taken a brave and ambitious move into adjuncting--online adjuncting.  It suits me.  I like technology when it is working for me--not simply to play with it.  I like the idea of teaching a class that is self-paced.  I like being able to develop a class at leisure, if you will--without the "what will I do NOW, TODAY" pressure.  Not that I don't work well with that pressure, but I do find that if my emphasis is on the next class meeting, I am less likely to really develop the larger picture.  It's all about "do I lecture, or do I make them do stuff on their own?" Well, it's all on their own, and while there's the question of how I will convey the information that I feel is essential, there's not the pressure for me to perform it in front of a class--to know what to say and how to answer the question that someone will ask that I am unprepared to answer (though I still do that in my day job).

Don't Give Up Your Day Job

I know that I am in a pretty privileged position as an adjunct--and. . . that's okay with me.  This is the way to do it, really.  I guess I was never quite as idealistic as I assumed--or I like to eat.  One of the two.

I read an article today about a so-called "college professor" who is "highly educated" and yet can't make ends meet.  I read about these things all the time.  I admit that I feel a little more smug than I should--for all of my angst, I stand behind my decision to get a job that would allow my family a reasonable amount of comfort rather than running around in pursuit of adjunct positions.  Although I did have a couple of non-adjunct positions I could have taken,and would not technically have had to adjunct;  I still would have been earning less than I do in my full-time job, whatever the other benefits might have been (and clearly I wasn't convinced that those benefits would have been worth it).

Full-time adjuncting?  Yeah.  Sounds like hell to me. I'm afraid that adjuncting "on the side," almost as a--I laugh a little as I say it--hobby is really the way to do it.  And I was fortunate to find a school that needs its online adjuncts--more than I need them, as my friend who is a full-time faculty member of one of the college's branches tells me.

With the financial security of two good salaries--which, for the first time, bump us into a very interesting income-bracket--I almost forget that the school will be paying me.  That sounds terrible, doesn't it?  But the amount they're paying me would be highly insignificant if adjuncting was my only source of income.  It's still fairly insignificant, but in a different way.  And that's liberating.  I can focus on the parts I enjoy rather than the injustice of it all.

Working ALL. THE. TIME.

One of my deep reservations, and the reason that I have never pursued adjuncting before, even with a community college in the neighborhood (which is overwhelmed with a glut of grad students), is that I didn't necessarily absolutely didn't want to work all the time.  But I'm afraid it's starting.  The semester starts next Tuesday for the school that has hired me to teach (it's a strange and wonderful thing, after all of this time, to have a school hire me to teach).  Students are able to access the online course starting this week--this past Tuesday, in fact.  And while I am not obligated to have any content up for them this first non-week, a friend advised that the orientation lesson can (and probably should) go up so that they can start practicing navigating the online course.  So all of last week, last weekend, and all of this week, I worked my job, came home, and assembled or created the pieces of my class to meet deadlines.  It was....  a little exhilarating, actually.  Particularly the parts when I realize that I do know this stuff after all, or when I use my knowledge of technology (gained from my day job) to create something that I think will engage the students.  I have needed to up my coffee intake by adding a cup in the (early) evening.  I only drink one usually, so that's not too bad.  (Particularly when most adjuncts I know cope by drinking a different type of beverage...)

It will catch up with me.  Last night it was catching up with me a bit.  I didn't have the second cup of coffee. I was depressed because the new boots that I can afford ordered online didn't fit.  And I felt tired--so tired--and aware that I should be doing something for my class.  When I was going to bed, I remembered--I had done something for my class!!  I designed a "wrap-up" essay question for the Old English poetry section that synthesized the things I wanted them to watch/read.  So the evening was not quite a waste.

I also talked on the phone to my mom, and (earlier) listened to my daughter read her school reader (in Spanish, though I don't speak it--much).  The night before I felt bad because I didn't listen to her read.  I rather vehemently suggested that Daddy could listen to her read.  While I was just as likely to do so for any other reason--cooking, composing a blog post, or whatever--I didn't like doing it.  It felt more selfish to be putting her off for a second job that I didn't need to take for any reason other than my perverse failure to feel fulfilled by the other things I have in my life.  So that will take balance.  And one day, if I do achieve gainful academic employment, maybe I will have a summer month to spend with her and her sister.

On the other hand, the work doesn't always feel like work.  It feels like engagement--something that I miss completely in my day job.  I show up; I do stuff; I go home.  They pay me well and I work with some cool people.  But I have nothing to challenge my mind.  Even the things that should challenge me in that context are things that I find absolutely boring.  But packaging early British Lit--not easy stuff in a traditional classroom setting--for the web, and trying to maximize student engagement so that they actually take something away from the class?  That is a challenge worthy of me.

I have no illusions.  I will get tired.  I will get bogged down.  And inevitably, I will get behind.  The novelty will fade, and I will have two jobs.  Maybe.  On the other hand, I will be communicating online with people about literature.  And that's sort of what I do.  So maybe--just maybe--this will be a good thing.